[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
My suicide video.
we arent meant to have jobs and sit in cubicles all day answering phones. we are meant to run through sand into the ocean holding hands with our favorite people and have some awesome summer jams blaring on our internal soundtrack.
now that is life.
Dear anyone who is reading this and considering responding in anyway (positive or negative), please grant me the decency of your patience by reading the entire thing before you decide to do so.
I am in a very happy, satisfying, loving relationship. He has his friends to hang out with whenever but I need to spend time with my friends too. However, I’ve come to realize I don’t have a real close friend to hang out with. Wtf. I have no friends. Oh shit, am I THAT person? [For anyone who is reading this and is also a 2nd year El Ed major at UIndy, I will re-phrase my previous sentence to “Oh shit, am I just like ***** *******” I understand that was very mean, but hey I didn’t actually say the person’s name and the FEW people that will actually understand who I was insinuating will think it’s funny. So, calm down everyone.]
Anyways, any women who are also thinking hmmm, I could always try a new friend: well here I am, offering the invite to BFFhood. ß Oh btw, that reminds me:
[I will make the following rant #1 for future reference]
If you thought “BFFhood”, this bitch is crazy!, then maybe we shouldn’t be friends. If you thought “BFFhood”, this bitch cray!, then maybe we should, maybe we shouldn’t, the tides have no yet told us. If you though, “BFFhood”, golly gee I use silly language sometimes and I will embrace another person’s silly vocab if only they can stand my silly language I probably use sometimes!, then guess what, as a matter of fact, yes, I will.
(So, like I was saying: before you consider “Hey I might actually hit her up on her awesome BFFhood!” there are a few things (listed from #1 to #15, #1 being listed above and #2 through #15 will be listed below. Don’t make fun of me for my awesome organizational pride I have in the stupid thing that I am doing right now. I guess I’ll just call it a very organized rant. Well thought out?! NAY! Super fucking awesome (to me of course, I have no idea about anyone else) and organized?! HELLZ YES!) that you will need to know)
#2
I sing in the car.
#3
I love slushies and having a beverage with me at all times.
#4
I like to shop, even when I don’t have money.
#5
I do have a job L so I am not 24/7 available, but hey, you aren’t either, right!
#6
I love my boyfriend. And I hope you like him, too. But, let me just sing “Don’t mess with my man!…Here’s a little advice for you, find your own man!”
#7
We shall tie dye. And tie dye often.
#8
Please, can we get our nails done together?
#9
I like to ride in cars. Car rides are fun, even when there is nowhere to go. Driving is fun, I don’t give a fuck who you are. So I hope you have a car, too.
#10
It would be super awesome if we had a similar taste in music: I am at a stage currently, for example, of: Kid Cudi, 3OH!3, Passion Pit, Breathe Carolina, Shwayze, Hellogoodbye, Lily Allen, Ellie Goulding. But I also love TLC, Destiny’s Child, Beyonce, Brand New, DanceGavinDance, Augustana, Nicki Minaj, Drake, Wiz Khalifa, Pierce the Veil, Skrillex, Down With Webster, etc etc etc and on and on forever!
#11
If you are broke, I will always do my best to help you out and buy you a coffee or whatever when we hang out. And if I am in the position you are in (vice versa) then you’d be super awesome to help me out like I would have for you.
#12
Since we need to be BFFs, there are a few particular things, that I’ll be honest, that would make our friendship go so much more smoothly if you have in common with me. You must open to the frequent practice getting up up and away, eating pie, or getting toasted. Whatever you call it.
#13
Those are just a few of my little lingo cheesy lines that I will/probably quite often use and you may or may not need to prepare/please join in on these wondrous language creations from appreciation.
#14
Appreciate the little things in life.
#15
Please, it would be cool if you also think of life like, a music video, or if every moment is a super cool scene from a movie. I wish everyone in the world could watch my life movie. Cause I bet it would be awesome, with the scenes focused the right way, and with all the right details, and pieced together so correctly.
#16
I will appreciate and welcome all of your strange things you bring along. I have already found the lover and man and friend of my life, Miguel (blahblah I’m sorry if I love my boyfriend and talk about him a lot. Get over it. If you have a boyfriend, that is awesome. Feel free to talk about him however often you want. I honestly want to listen.)
I need that kind of friend who can be as weird as I think that I am and show me a whole new world of strange things. Basically, I’m a loser who must’ve fucked up all of her other friendships to the point that no one has the correct percent of availability coinciding with mine, or they don’t have the balls to admit we were always just an acquaintance. Whatevs. I’m totally making a fool of myself and putting myself out there like a friendless freak. So, cut me some slack. Maybe I’m just taking the road less traveled by. Maybe I will find an awesome friend out of this. Maybe you’ll just sit there with all of your jealousy for my awesomeness when instead you could have just been honest with yourself and think, “I shouldn’t be jealous, maybe she could be an awesome addition to my life and maybe I might be an awesome addition to her life, and maybe she’ll enjoy me being in hers.” Anyway, what I am trying to get to is: comment on this, send me a message, text me. I don’t care. (If no one responds, I’ll accept the fact that you must all really hate me. Okay, your loss :/)
